don’t hold back

By Kevin Glynn

Whenever we become involved with a new client, there are a few common trends that typically develop. While we may be getting called in to help with one specific behavior, I know that there are probably multiple issues that will need to be addressed.

More often than not, we wind up going for a walk. Walking is fundamental for dogs, so their people must learn how to lead it. When I see dogs making decisions about where to walk, at what pace, and where and when to stop and smell the roses, I know they are probably making other decisions that they are ill-equipped to make, such as how to handle perceived danger and who is permitted to come and go from their property.

One surprising trend that we have noticed is that some people don’t actually want to fix many of these negative and sometimes dangerous behaviors. Once we discovered this, the cause and effect relationship became clear - sometimes the negative and dangerous behaviors exist because, on some level, their people want them to.

Shortly after my daughter was born, someone asked me if my dogs had become protective of her yet. The question itself wasn’t terribly surprising. Dogs can become protective of members of their packs when their roles are not clearly defined. The “yet” dangling there at the end of the sentence, as though they should be protective of her, really made me pause, however. I simply told the person that it wasn’t their job to protect her. It’s my job.

Another client first contacted us because they thought they had an aggressive dog. What they really had was a dog who was overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility she had. She would pace all over the house and couldn’t rest because she believed she needed to protect her family.

We simplified things for her significantly at our Finishing School, teaching her that she was not responsible for guarding and that we only wanted her to exercise, play, rest, and give and receive affection. She learned very quickly because she never really wanted more responsibility to begin with.

When we brought her back home, her people could immediately see the difference. As we started working with them so they could learn how to maintain the energy of the dog we were dropping off, they confessed that they liked it when she barked at strangers because they felt like she was protecting them. They had unwittingly assigned this job to their dog. They didn’t need to teach her to guard the property. She was aware of how they felt when she did it, and that was all the reinforcement she needed.

Similarly, people who have a dog who is reactive when on leash usually become anxious when they see something that typically triggers this aggression. Their anxiety may not have caused the problem to begin with, but it is now feeding it - the dog sees the trigger, senses the anxiety in their handler, and then tries to eliminate the source of the anxiety. Before we can deal with the dog’s reaction, we need to deal with their handler’s emotions. And before we can do that, the handler needs to be honest with themselves about how they feel.

Our sense of responsibility is really at the heart of all of this. Who is responsible for what, and when is it expected? While dogs are not children and need to be treated differently, we still need to take responsibility for them. We need to provide them with exercise, safe shelter, food and water, and affection. When you get it right, you will feel the bond between you grow.

The message here is not to hold back. Be aware of how you’re feeling when your dog is reacting to something, and then ask yourself, “Whose responsibility should that really be?” Most dogs don’t want to take on the responsibility of the pack’s survival and will happily hand that job over to you once you make it clear that you can handle it.

​If you’re having trouble getting there, let us know. We will happily teach you how to communicate that to your dog.